1) A is for... Achtung Panzer - Kharkov 1943
The challenge: To play through each of the games on my Steam library.
The rules: I have to play at least 1 hour of each game, in alphabetical order.
So, originally I was going to play one game for at least an evening, rather than for an hour, but smarter people than me advised me this might be a terrible idea. They were right, and I found this out after trying the first game on my list: Achtung Panzer - Kharkov 1943.
In Achtung Panzer you play as a military commander in charge of German troops, fighting the USSR. The game is in two parts; a simplistic map overview where you control units square by square, and then a real-time strategy section where you control tanks, men, and some kind of incredibly squeaky wheeled jeep.
Of course all of this could be made up because this game gives you no help whatsoever. There are no tutorials or even tooltips. My best guess at how to shoot at the bad guys was 'this looks a bit like a little guy with a gun'.
Each time you start a battle the game gives you historical context for the scenario you're playing, but honestly my eyes glazed over looking at it. I'm sure if you like that sort of thing then it's very riveting.
Whilst playing the real-time sections, I wasn't really sure what I was doing, so I used the tactic of 'group up all my guys and drive them at the enemy'. I could almost feel Tony Robinson looking at the screen with dismay (Tony Robinson was the only historian I could think of, which just goes to show how little I know about history).
The best thing about this game, however, was the sound. There was a single dog bark that for some reason kept playing every minute or so. Sadly I couldn't see any dogs in my platoons so I guess it was ambient noise. When the fighting started the gunfire just kept stacking and stacking upon itself until there was almost a continuous stream of rattling noise (although this may be historically accurate?). The aforementioned jeep with its squeaky wheels sounded (to me) more like someone trying to learn to whistle. But best of all, very occasionally, if you were lucky, a short midi file of some weirdly upbeat chiptuney music would play. I cannot overstate how jarring this music was. It was as if someone decided that the music from Alex Kidd should be played over a scene from Saving Private Ryan.
And that was my hour up. I managed to finish three battles in the time I played; I won two and lost one. I'm not convinced I had any real impact on the world of my game - I suspect if this game is for you then it's a very long haul.
In short, if you like incredibly dry, difficult to learn, noisy and confusing war games, then this is for you. Sadly, Achtung Panzer is going into my Bad Games folder.
The rules: I have to play at least 1 hour of each game, in alphabetical order.
So, originally I was going to play one game for at least an evening, rather than for an hour, but smarter people than me advised me this might be a terrible idea. They were right, and I found this out after trying the first game on my list: Achtung Panzer - Kharkov 1943.
In Achtung Panzer you play as a military commander in charge of German troops, fighting the USSR. The game is in two parts; a simplistic map overview where you control units square by square, and then a real-time strategy section where you control tanks, men, and some kind of incredibly squeaky wheeled jeep.
The map overview. I worked out you could cause a fight by moving the green diamonds onto the red 'T's'. I was proud of this revelation.
Each time you start a battle the game gives you historical context for the scenario you're playing, but honestly my eyes glazed over looking at it. I'm sure if you like that sort of thing then it's very riveting.
Whilst playing the real-time sections, I wasn't really sure what I was doing, so I used the tactic of 'group up all my guys and drive them at the enemy'. I could almost feel Tony Robinson looking at the screen with dismay (Tony Robinson was the only historian I could think of, which just goes to show how little I know about history).
The best thing about this game, however, was the sound. There was a single dog bark that for some reason kept playing every minute or so. Sadly I couldn't see any dogs in my platoons so I guess it was ambient noise. When the fighting started the gunfire just kept stacking and stacking upon itself until there was almost a continuous stream of rattling noise (although this may be historically accurate?). The aforementioned jeep with its squeaky wheels sounded (to me) more like someone trying to learn to whistle. But best of all, very occasionally, if you were lucky, a short midi file of some weirdly upbeat chiptuney music would play. I cannot overstate how jarring this music was. It was as if someone decided that the music from Alex Kidd should be played over a scene from Saving Private Ryan.
A vision of the real-time strategy sections. It just doesn't feel the same without the weird ambient noise.
And that was my hour up. I managed to finish three battles in the time I played; I won two and lost one. I'm not convinced I had any real impact on the world of my game - I suspect if this game is for you then it's a very long haul.
In short, if you like incredibly dry, difficult to learn, noisy and confusing war games, then this is for you. Sadly, Achtung Panzer is going into my Bad Games folder.
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